It’s a curse and the biggest blessing. When you feel everything so deeply and you think that everyone else is the same but then you realise they’re not, there are times when you question yourself. Specially when those in the lower frequencies (most of people in the world, aka asleep ones) start projecting their insecurities and lack of self-authenticity at you and make you feel ‘different’. So you try to fit in pretending you don’t feel, which sucks/hurts even more. What’s really going on here is that most people NUMB their feelings, ignore them, or shut them down due to various reasons (it’s not a case that they don’t feel) and in return shame those who do express their feelings, because they aren’t strong enough to open themselves, they ridicule those who do. This is society for you. It’s been normalised that ‘to feel’ is a sign of weakness. Fuck that! What it means is that you’re vulnerable when you feel, therefore there is FEAR of feeling (and expressing it) because it can often be synonym of suffering. Well, let me tell you: If you don’t suffer you don’t thrive, grow, heal, love, live! Life comes with everything: pain and pleasure. Digest and assume that. Simply.
I’ve always felt things slightly more intensely than the majority, but I only realised this as I grew up. I also realise that I am this way because I am truthful to myself, I do not block or stop myself from feeling. I believe if everyone was honest with themselves they would also see/feel things deeply and intensely. Let’s say I can see ‘through’ things. I see ‘the behinds’, and I’m never wrong. I get overexcited easily, with good and bad (being an ‘optimistic’ Sagittarius with Scorpio rising adds to it), but I have learned to ‘remain undercover’ if I didn’t want to be taken as mad, as a fool, a loner, anti-social, dangerous, etc. Sometimes I am told that “I am too intense” LOL! The labels humans create when they want to hide natural love/truth/beauty (it seems that love and all the goodness have to be hidden and ridiculised). Well, thanks to that intensity I am an exceptional Singer, I am able to express myself freely, and I truly truly love life, with the most horrendous and the most beautiful. And the best thing: I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, REGRET or BE ASHAMED OF. There is Truth yelling to come out of my depths all the time, so I just let it out. Passionately.
This emotional depth and intensity are usually common in highly artistic, creative, ‘gifted’ people (we are all ‘gifted’, just some people have it buried due to a variety of reasons). And we express them through a wide range of feelings, obsessions, compassion, a heightened sense of responsibility and scrupulous self-examination. These qualities can be often misunderstood as signs of immaturity rather as a statement of a rich inner world, when in reality, it’s quite the opposite: repressing your self-expression and truth is the malady of adulthood and the origin of many diseases. It revolves my entrails watching teachers and parents alike, in the last 20 years, tell a child: “oh, you’re getting emotional”, with a peyorative intention, when they are crying or sad, instead of soothing them with the compassion, hugs, kisses, cuddles and any other form of physical affection that a wounded/hurt child inherently needs. FUCKED UP WOKE MENTALITY. “Woke” is another term for far right in disguise of an ‘awaken’ (= fast asleep) left. The world is upside down.
Expressing our humanity has gone down the drainage. Suppressing humanity is the rule now. Ghosting people. Sweeping things under the rug. No responsibilities. All the rights. I often have wishes of getting off the planet and sleeping in the wild woods forever amongst the fresh running water of rivers and the cold morning frost. Mind you! as long as we’re allowed, ’cause it seems that not even breathing freely is allowed. The very last thing I’d ever imagine. When are people going to get it? 😦