Self-made Destruction

The day I destroyed myself.

It happened to me, the non-controlling one, the forever-allowing one, the naive one.

Accumulation of past treacheries, deception and lies that I never processed or fully mourned, became abominable self-made monsters that I wasn’t able to stop. They were breeding deep inside, feeding off gossiping and rumours, plotted against my usual self, took over, made me a prisoner. I screamed and couldn’t hear my voice, I was no longer my own. It bursted all out, spat all over the one I cared for, with all the worms, self-made fear and rage, damaging the thread that kept us connected.

All that is left is shattered pieces of my old self, and a faint dazed heart beat.

Perishing is next.

vomiting black smoke

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