You may have noticed that my blog is increasingly showcasing matters that aren’t straightforwardly Singing or Fitness related. But for me everything is connected, and anything that affects you as a person (mind, emotions, spirituality) also affects your singing and your health. I am also growing more and more into the person who I both always feared and wanted to be (this process never ends), and I want to put it out in public so that I can help people, if possible. In doing so, I use the knowledge of things I have read, experienced, and my own deductions/thoughts.
I am going to touch a subject that might be a bit subjective (if you allow the redundancy), because everybody has different opinions and feelings, but I am pretty much sure that eventually we all want the same, in one form or another, correct me if I am wrong: we want LOVE. Love makes us happy, grounded, present and flying over the moon all at once. It makes us whole (and it makes us sing and perform better😊).
“Age doesn’t protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age”. – Jeanne Moreau
We often have the acquired notion that in order to be complete we need another person to complete us. But the truth is that all the love💗 we need resides inside us, and learning to find that intrinsic wholeness without having to look for it on the outside, is one of life’s most precious lessons. There is so much information and research about this topic that it would be a waste of time for me to dwell on this. “Learn to love yourself”, “Love yourself first and the right person will come to you”, “Love is within you” and sayings alike are a-plenty online. Also books that give good insight on this. It’s old wisdom anyway. So I will focus on something else. I will focus on why we have the idea that the perfect partner is just one person in a lifetime and how this may stop us from evolving.
First of all let us look at the subtle difference between connections and relationships. We are all connected. But we ‘click’ better with those beings that vibrate at a similar frequency to ours. It’s one of the quantum laws (entanglement), and it is how it works, even if you don’t believe it. So the moment you have a connection with someone (or something), you establish a relationship, because that someone is affecting you energetically, and you are affecting them. So we are full of relationships with all sorts of people and other beings, it doesn’t matter if you see them or speak to them or not, as long as they are on your thoughts you have a relationship (reminder: thoughts are frequencies too, powerful ones).
Society makes us believe in the “and they lived happily ever after”, which indeed occurs in a few cases and I am the first one to believe in this kind of love (I grew up in a loving family where my parents and grandparents were a good example of this), but while doing so, we might miss other opportunities to connect with people who will bring growth to our lives (along with joy or hurt) through different types of love. Sometimes we are in conflict in relationships because whatever the connection we have with the other person doesn’t fit what society taught us it should be. But the truth is that people come into our life for a reason: Growth. So instead of fearing or anticipating what could or couldn’t happen if this or that, why not allow the connection to BE? I know, I know… fear. Fear based on past experiences and patterns. Fear of pain on any party (I’ve been prey of this, missing out big time). Fear of “not being the right thing to do” (religion, family…) But if that is the way it has to be… if one person’s joy means the other person’s suffering then balance if the part you both are connected with is stronger than the part which isn’t (again, after all, there is a reason for your connection and your feelings, so don’t ignore it)… and let it be. Growth means pain and by delaying yours you’re delaying the other person’s growth too! So don’t be cruel (me included). Do we prefer living 100% or living with regrets? I personally don’t want any more of the latter.
While some of the baggage may be valuable, the best approach in my experience is to start anew with no preconceptions or walls because not two peas are the same, and so one person’s behaviour might not mean the same in another individual. If the other person is not “perfect” but you still have the attraction, ask yourself the following: *WHAT CAN THEY BE TO YOU?* Connections have different levels of depth, accept all of them for what they are. Blocking them or setting expectations means you yourself are holding on to an idea which isn’t yours; having said this, if you choose that it’s your own path and that’s also fine… everyone is at different stages of growth.
It’s a pity to miss out on things. You can be with someone in so many ways. People bring lessons in different forms. It could be a purely sexual connection, it could be a mind connection, it could be both, it could be a loving sexless one, it could be a binding friendship like no other, it could be a domestic one, a spiritual one, it could be everything together, it could last one hour or it could last a lifetime… Animals, plants and stones bring us lessons too. I myself am connected to a couple of stones that I randomly found and I brought them home because they were ‘talking’ to me 🙂 It has also happened that while passing by a plant, mountain or tree I suddenly “recognise” it and feel it as a being with a personality. It’s a beautiful feeling.
This doesn’t mean not having any boundaries or being totally open to everybody. Find what works for you. But don’t worry much: the people who do not match your frequency won’t cross your path in a meaningful way. But for those who do… for god’s sake, give yourself a chance! And give the world a chance to become a better place thanks to your choices. Because, believe it or not, one’s choices conform the whole. Your individual choice today will generate an energetic pattern that will influence/alter the currently existing ones in the rest of your close ones, the place you live in, the country, world, galaxy from the beginning till the end of times (it also goes backwards in time because time as such doesn’t exist, but that’s another article). But most of all, and for the sake of humanity, don’t stay in a stagnant situation that makes you miserable. Have courage to make the choices that make you happy.
Let’s be the change 🙂
So many… don’t know where to start! 🙂