Pushing, Accepting & Allowing

How far are you willing to go to overcome your challenges? How much are you willing to push/risk in order to get something/somewhere?

It’s a hard one because sometimes no matter how hard you push, the improvements will be imperceptible even when for you might mean a hell of an effort, you might feel that you go one step forwards and ten steps backwards. Welcome to life. Ironically, though, those are the very traits that define your uniqueness. So calm down.

Trying Hard

When we want something very badly we do our best to make it happen, pushing ourselves to the limits, quite often crossing our own boundaries, losing ourselves, falling into darkness and getting frustrated on the way, because we can’t control the outcome of our actions. In your head you’ll be like: “Why if I am going by the book I am not able to achieve what it says I should be achieving?”


• “Why am I not able to get bigger legs/bum working double than this other person who does nothing and has an amazing shape?”

• “Why am I not able to sing a song in tune when I am practising daily the exercises my teacher has taught me for years?”

• “Why am I stuck in the same place in life if I have tried all possible ways to get out of my situation and it doesn’t get me to where I want to?”

• “Why I, with all my knowledge, honesty and clean play, haven’t got the life that others with none of that, easily got?”

So many “Why’s”.

There are several answers to these questions (there are also others that I won’t explore because they are not related to the purpose of this article):

  1. First, what you want to achieve might not necessarily be what you NEED in order to grow and learn, so ‘the universe’ doesn’t give it to you.
  2. Second, the frustrations consequence of your perceived failures could actually be stepping stones for the making of a better YOU.
  3. Third, there is always a way that you haven’t explored, even if you think you have tried everything you can – quite often related to our own PERCEPTION of things (quantum physics).
  4. Fourth, in allowing and accepting things as they are in the present, resides the key to advance them.

This means you might be doing everything by the book, but energetically deep inside there is a denial (some sort of energetic ‘block’) of your own possibilities and your self-affirmation. Overcoming those “unseen but familiar-all-time-present” sighs (I visualize them like sighs, immaterial yet deeply inflicting – in the case of actual sighs they are rather purifying, whilst blocks are somehow pungent) is what it’s all about. Just the simple but wondrous fact of BEING is something you should remember. We are all big little miracles😊☄. That means ALL POSSIBILITY. If we allow it.


I’ve had Singing students who knew what they needed to do, who would practice for hours following the right rules, and would end up having the same frustrations over and over because they couldn’t see any progress. They themselves would preach and talk the right talk to others, and be an example to follow, however they would be unwilling to do anything to sort themselves out. After reassessing their technique there would ALWAYS be an emotional factor behind their blocks (when I say emotional I imply mental, as they are both related). Once the emotional issue had been addressed and put into awareness, their technical problem would be sorted. In the best of cases. Sometimes it took a long time or it never happened. Depending on the STUBBORNNESS and HARDHEADEDNESS of certain people🙄.

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The reality is if you don’t want to confront the pain it implies recognition, acceptance and swallowing of your own insecurities/mistakes/fears, fine. It will only take longer or forever. Up to you. Some people prefer to stay in a known consuming hell than exploring something that could bring them the happiness they long for, or they are expecting others to do the job for them… Be a bit courageous, what are you going to lose? at worst, you’ll return to where you were (which sucks, so?…) Easier said than done, I know, but at least if you take a small step forwards, that’s already a beginning. The future is unknown and all we have is the present. Take one small step NOW. There is always something you can do NOW. A small decision will change the course of everything.

If we look at Fitness it’s the same principle. The barriers to your physical capabilities originate in your emotional/mind stream. You might be doing the right exercises, even at a higher intensity/rhythm than instructed, and not getting there. Fighting and trying more, more, more… like a ram hitting his head against a rock. Where do you think you’re going so fast, little grasshopper?

Building up muscle in my upper body comes easier to me than building up the lower body.

We all have different muscle fibre distribution and so we have to work harder in some areas while others will come natural. For example, I find that my upper body tones up faster than my lower body. So if I want to have that trendy big bum, I have to work triple than the average woman. Because that’s the way my genetic print is built. It doesn’t mean I can’t change it but it will take me much longer than I would have wanted. Acceptance here is key (and acting accordingly). So maybe I can consider tweaking my perception of what my ideal body would look like and focus on the areas that I am stronger at, enhancing my uniqueness. Or I can continue to kill myself working focused in building up my legs as if there’s no tomorrow and nothing else matters in life. Don’t know what would make me more or less of a heroin. What do you think?


And, after you’ve tried and ‘been there and done that’… there comes a point where you just have to let go and trust that things are happening exactly the way they should. Allow the universe to dictate your path.

Look inside. Search. Find. Feel. Clean. Let go. Allow. Love. Act accordingly.

Warning: you might have to do this for a lifetime😊.

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